CONVERSATIONS WITH MAMMA
by Beinir Bergsson, poet
it’s only a nose, it’s only a nose.
that’s not so bad, is it?
the way things stand I don’t think we need to worry. Hold on.
I know, I’ll make sure to ask the doctor to check my birthmarks next time.
Did you ever say to me:
Don’t hang out with anyone batting for the other team.
No good’ll come of those kids, you once said, I know that
or did you ask
when’ll you make me a granny?
sometimes I think,
no I can sense
that he’s yearning to get away
when I embrace him
I can see
that he’s holding his breath
that my body
is a hot radiator
to the touch
have you ever felt like that?
I’m scared to tell him
I WANT KIDS
I have to tell you
sometimes I’ve doubts
especially when he and I are lying in bed and
his forefinger
approaches my
nose
my porous nose
he makes it tickle
three seconds
before he touches me
it tickled too
when dad used to pretend
the toothbrush was an airplane
or actually a jet plane
ready to blast away caries
I showed him (not dad, obviously)
granny’s garden
copied him, straddled his belly
thrust the blood drop petals (you know, fuchsia flowers)
right up under his nose
he started sucking before
the flower had crossed his lips
I could see the sugar fly
into his mouth
like a jet
when we’re back in bed
and his forefinger
is perhaps two seconds
or ten cm away
my blood vessels will widen
my blood rushes from the cheeks
into my nose
the nose blushes
intuits that
the finger is flower semen (pollen, that is)
the tip of the nose fills
arms itself
with oxygen
the forefinger touches
the nose
I taste
rhubarb juice
right at the back
by the innermost
molars
the sugar flies out
Have you seen that birthmark on your arm? Ask the doctor to check it next time
Mamma I can’t talk to him about everything.
I dare not say to him:
I LOVE
WHEN YOU TAKE MY HAND
IN FRONT OF YOUR PARENTS
Did you ever say that to dad?
No, not exactly that, but you know
he and I had a sit down
the other day
and I said to him
listen
Don’t be mad
I should’ve said
I’VE READ YOUR CONVERSATIONS ON YOUR PHONE
yes, he’s quite nice, handsome or clean-cut
he’s also happy to play yugioh (those cards you used to get for me when you’d go to Tórshavn)
I could swear that birthmark wasn’t there the last time I saw you
yes him? I’m afraid
I’LL STAY WITH HIM
IF HE DOESN’T WANT KIDS
yeah, but don’t you want to be a grandma?
when are you seeing the doctor again?
aha, would you like to meet him?
I quite like him, really
we do all sorts of things at the weekend
sometimes we watch Naruto (that anime you used to tape on VHS for me, no now we watch it on the computer)
it’s just a nose
nothing more than that
just apply a little makeup
and you’ll hardly see it
the cut to the nose
I can kiss it
I was always crying as a child
and you’d always dip my dummy in sugar
remember that?
I saw the dentist last week
and he’ll be doing root canal on three molars
no, don’t transfer me any money
look at me I know
that you bite your nails
when you hide like that
is it next week?
want me to come with
did you know dad used to say
mamma only started thriving on the island
when the subsea tunnel came
or he actually said
that tunnel was a bloody nuisance
wasn’t that true too?
we’d go to Burger King more often
I still have some of the toys
up in the attic
no he’s not like dad
he’s porous
doesn’t drink orange juice at all
doesn’t have breakfast
maybe a cup of coffee
it’s been a long time since I drank cornflakes milk
he’s a bit daddy-like
takes out the rubbish in crocs
and he always knows when I’m pretending to sleep
this is just between us, but it’s ok if aunt knows
I don’t need to get a cat
he sheds just as badly
have you told aunt that?
what about calling her and saying
Hey let’s go grab a coffee
you never go to a café together
no? okay
but call if there’s anything
sure, I’ll tell him you say hello
Translated by Marita Thomsen
